I started smoking again, it makes me feel somewhat better. Wish I would has started smoking again earlier, I probably woudl have been happier. It makes me feel more like my old self which actually was a tough guy. I started doing the things I used to. I have been running from the cops, playing around in bb gun wars, drinking alot, climbing cliffs, and running through the woods by the tracks. Memories of the way I used to be before my dad's death have caused me to feel alive and far more different than I have been since I moved away from Lemay in the first place.